The year of finishing

This year for me is all about finishing things I’ve started.

My faithful cat, Kimi @karina_lawrence on instragram
Last year ended with me feeling stuck in a rut. The same things seemed to circle back around like my life is a never ending loop of events. The same feelings, the same fears, the same anxiety.

So I decided this would be the year I finish things... you know that long list of stuff you halfstart or half plan or intend to do one day? This is my year of tackling that list.

Some are small things, like I keep taking up French and not practicing it enough. I’m happy to say I’m on a perfect streak in my Duolingo learning app. It might not be the degree level French I dreamt of as a kid, but I’m finally putting effort into learning and practicing what I consider one of the most beautiful languages in the world.

I’ve started sketching again, finishing small art ideas like this one... where I mix my passion for yoga and nudes...
Shoulder stand by Karina Lawrence on Redbubble
 Two of my biggest projects remained, until recently, unfinished. I started writing a novel called Sarah over twelve months ago. It’s been both fast and slow writing, with a big “I have a new job to learn” gap in writing along the way. The main character in the novel is an artist, and she comes across a young and naive model who brings renewed inspiration to her work when she’s feeling stagnant.

Something about that moment, that muse, made me want to see the finished painting I write about in the novel. This girl whose skin is milk, who inspires brushstroke after brushstroke. And so last year I started what would be my biggest painting to date. Not just in terms of emotion or complexity but also in size.

Milk by Karina Lawrence on Redbubble
 I started this painting over 12 months ago and as the first few days of January gave  me time to pause and think about what I wanted... I finished it. And it brought me real joy and a big sense of accomplishment. I’d finished something I started. And it’s just made me hungry for more of that feeling.

So with one big project done, there’s only one big thing on my list for this year. That damn novel. That story that haunts me as much as the face of a French beauty haunts my main character when she closes her eyes at night. There will be other accomplishments along the way, small things that satisfy just as much as long term goals. That’s what life is all about though, big life goals and ambitions interspersed with small achievements. Even if some days the most I achieve is getting out of bed.

This year I will take control of the things around me I have the power to... and everything else? I’m sure whatever is meant to be will be... and until then you just gotta keep trying, failing and getting back up again.


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