If you were to put yourself into a tumble dryer

Or how anxiety and my chronic illnesses like to make pals and render me temporarily useless. 
I just spent the better part of 3 days in agony, not being able to eat and having nightmares when I managed to fall asleep. Finally being on the other side of this feels like absolute heaven, even though the chronic illnesses that caused it are never going anywhere. I also know from personal experience that there are people that are way worse off than me, and they're my absolute heroes and keep me fighting for a better quality of life.

Eight weeks ago I decided to stop letting my illness dictate what I could and couldn't do. Now, my illness is just as stubborn as I am, so it's more a case of balancing the scales in my favour. My two goals are to get stronger and be healthier.

The difference between this latest case of my body attacking itself and the numerous others I've had over the years? I knew the causes, from hormonal changes to anxiety triggers. My body is also eight we…

My mindful bootcamp: if you treat yourself like garbage, you'll feel like garbage

Just like puppies aren't just for Christmas, mindful treatment isn't just for everyone else around you. If you're anything like me, taking care of yourself hasn't ever been much of a priority.

Sure, you probably "reward" yourself with the odd treat, often food (we'll get back to that subject later), sometimes new clothes, books, games (whatever brings you instant joy, you know what it is), but you're not actually taking care of yourself.

Eight weeks ago, amongst other things, I was constantly dehydrated from not drinking enough water. It made my headaches worse, I was cranky and tired, and my skin did not look great. Yet I was aware that I should be drinking a couple litres of water a day, it wasn't something I discovered for the first time at age 31 and felt absolute horror that no one had told me about before. I knew I should be drinking more water, but why didn't I? If you're a pet owner or parent would you leave them without enough fo…

Treat your passion like a job

Now, I can already hear you grumbling because my brain is too, but stick with me here.
You may think that treating a passion like a job is a bad thing, but that's probably because you don't like your job. Or maybe you love your job, but it's tough and hard work. Either way, you most likely dedicate at least 8 hours, probably more, to your job. You put yourself together, leave your baggage at the door and give it your best. Every. Damn. Day.

For the entirety of your working day or night, you do your best to (at the very least) stay employed, do well enough to get paid, take money home. I don't know anyone who works because they want to, but they must exist, and they are most likely doing something they love, and are passionate about, for a living.

What are you passionate about? Deep down. What would make you not only want to dedicate eight, ten or sixteen hours of your day to it, but you would willingly do all day every day for a living, if only you could. Now, some of…

Change, it comes in all shapes an sizes

How long would you dedicate to change your life? 
A day, a week, a month, a year? It is, after all, the only life you're getting. So you better be prepared to take what you want while you can, as it may well be the only chance you get.

How about three weeks? Just 21 days, to change the way you live your life. It's not a lot but somehow it might just be enough. Research shows that small changes can become new habits within just 21 days. The bigger the change though, the longer you'll have to dedicate.

But lets start with three weeks to make a small change, that first step. After hurting my foot and having to cancel a trip I sat at home wondering this very question. Did I hurt myself because I had become so out of shape? I looked in the mirror and the stranger on the other side shrugged, jiggling about the extra pounds that had formed over the past few months... Well, self pity wasn't going to do anything for my mood, my figure or my career... In fact, the only one that…

Time, it's unforgiving and relentless, just like my inner voice

Time doesn't stop to smell the roses, it carries on, ever forward into the dark goodnight. Unlike time, I've been slowing down the last few weeks and taking stock. Sometimes I look around and wonder how I've ended up in a particular situation, like life is something that just happens to me and I have no control over any of it. That's thankfully not true.

So there are a few facts in life that I know to be true: Deadpool 2 is out soon, villains don't always have a curly moustache or a posh British accent, and change is something you can make happen for yourself. Accepting what life has given you and thinking you have no other option is a helpless thought many people allow to run their lives. I have been one of those for too long, thinking that someone else's behaviour was my fault or that I had to accept or forgive it.
Standards are not only something you are allowed to have, I actively encourage you to have them! The amount of times I've heard friends say…

Back to basics

When life throws you a curve ball, shout plot twist and keep going.
That’s what I’ve learned from my years of writing. Sometimes the unexpected just happens, and it shocks you, but you should never let it stop you. Knowing what your goals are in life is important, and I find that no matter what else goes on around me, I always have those to keep me on a steady course.

This month has been all about tightening up skills. It’s good to have focus, I find if I don’t have a goal I flounder, and I don’t look great in yellow and blue stripes (please tell me at least one of you got that joke).

It all goes back to when I was seven and I decided I wanted to be an artist. I would copy cartoon characters from comics and tv shows, the x-men and Dragon Ball characters were top of the list. But as time passed I wanted to be seen as more grown up, I started writing poetry and wearing black. I was a very young goth and clearly very self important... some things never change I guess!

Suddenly I found t…

The year of finishing

This year for me is all about finishing things I’ve started. Last year ended with me feeling stuck in a rut. The same things seemed to circle back around like my life is a never ending loop of events. The same feelings, the same fears, the same anxiety.

So I decided this would be the year I finish things... you know that long list of stuff you halfstart or half plan or intend to do one day? This is my year of tackling that list.

Some are small things, like I keep taking up French and not practicing it enough. I’m happy to say I’m on a perfect streak in my Duolingo learning app. It might not be the degree level French I dreamt of as a kid, but I’m finally putting effort into learning and practicing what I consider one of the most beautiful languages in the world.

I’ve started sketching again, finishing small art ideas like this one... where I mix my passion for yoga and nudes...
 Two of my biggest projects remained, until recently, unfinished. I started writing a novel called Sarah ov…