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Happiness

I have a favourite mug. It’s almost too heavy for my wrists to comfortably manage. Round top and squared off at the base. It’s a well made souvenir, more up-scale than the usual cheap tack you find in vacation destinations. But still, it's a reminder of a happy time. Of sun and blue skies. Of heat. The scent of a comforting blanket of familiarity in the air. With a print of one of my favourite artists stamped onto it like a well fitted dress. It is my mug. And although I've only had it for a little while, it feels like home when I hold it. When its warm embrace fills my hands and its coffee infused liquid fills the air around me. I might not have it forever. I might not have had it for long. But in this mug, I have found home.
Just a piece of peace, which is often enough for someone to be happy. When wanting more can be such a source of disappointment and unhappiness, I fill up that mug and that mug fills me up. Happiness does not have to be complicated. It can be simple. I…

Exhaustion - A tale of winter

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exhaustion ɪɡˈzɔːstʃ(ə)n,ɛɡ-/ noun 1. a state of extreme physical or mental tiredness. "he was pale with exhaustion"

It seems every year, this time of year, the cold and grey seep into my bones, my mood, my conciousness. It's in my nature to be happy in the sun, bright blue skies, warmth that seeps into your every pore, heat so heady that you can't sleep, that you don't want to sleep. Heat that arouses you and liberates you. Instead I keep suffering through winter after winter, hoping for a release. Time is slipping by, each day, wished away hour by hour in a dreary job that does nothing for my creativity; so that I can pay the bills, just like everyone else. BUT, there is always hope, right? That's the silver lining, the one positive thing, I suppose. This is my last year of being in my 20s. One last year. And I'm not sure why it feels weird that it feels weird. I thought that it wouldn't bother me, or even interest me, as most things that other people …

Break

She trembled, and quaked I held her back until it ached We both knew our fate The nights before they felt so fake It won't take too long Blow the candles out watch me shake The lights turn back on The darkness here is too opaque I can't help but think I've kissed like this before with hate Come closer once more It's time to close that heavy door The Earth didn't break Take my hand in yours and let’s escape
Lately I've been feeling like I've finally managed to break free from the image and expectations other people have of me. Not that these mattered to me too much on a personal level, I have my people and I am happy in life. But there's something to be said about being seen and understood by someone. The gears in my head are working better, clearer and inspiration seems to spring up around every corner. Passion is probably my biggest drive in life. If I feel it, I'll act on it. If I want something passionately, I'll fight for it... And giving u…

New Beginnings

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"smile and wave, watch me fade this is what you wanted while you sit there and wait I'll be the quiet mess curled up in my own embrace you explained it succinctly described your needs sweetly packaged with a ribbon everything forgiven no such thing as a break this is your last mistake now, jealousy bubbling at the time not troubling drop me cold, out at night not knowing how to fight a distant memory a lonely heart to be watch me as I walk away like sunlight slips away hello sunset, smile and wave"

It feels like every few years I have to pick myself back up and dust myself off. Thankfully, this year this has not been the case. It turns out you can learn from the past, for which I will be eternally grateful. I'd like to say that the world is full of wonderful people, because it is, but there are also a fair share of people out there willing to deceive you. And I'll be kind, and give some of them the benefit of doubt, and say that maybe their intentions were no…

Hope - A New Year's resolution

Every year I do my usual anti New Year's resolution. I list the things that I will do during the year, rather than the things I will give up. This year is no different. I do not intend to give up eating cake (what lunatic would, cake is fantastic, it still will be next year!) or chocolate (c'mon, if I've got a heartbeat I'll be eating chocolate). But I do intend to fill my year with dance and laughter, with comic books and video games, with writing projects and friends, with love and passion and most of all with hope. Hope for the future and everything it can bring. Hope that the good outweighs the bad, that the sheep aren't wolves, that the ambitions and dreams aren't too big and that my one day will be some day soon. Hope that each step I take this year brings me closer to the goal (we all have a goal, don't lie couch potatoes, you all know you want that couch toilet invented and mass produced) and that my happiness does not fade, no matter what bumps I m…

The Haunted Ship - A Captain Embers Tale

Born of fire and blood, gunpowder and swords With cruelty in his heart and bloodlust in his veins Wherever he goes everyone remembers The name of one Captain Thomas Embers

They waded through thick mud, weather-worn boots squelching with each step. The occasional grunted curse broke the cold silence of the night. Captain Embers led the way, fifteen members of his crew following closely behind.  A full moon graced the sky, allowing them to see shapes and shadows more clearly in the marshes. Fifty paces away their ship was beached on a bed of reeds. They each carried a sword and a pistol, except for Dead Hands Johnny, who didn’t have a trigger finger. They walked with a gait most common amongst those who possessed sea legs. And despite being warned to remain silent, and their best attempts to comply, their heavy breathing could have woken a dead log. This was not the type of physical exertion they were used to, strong arms and light feet cannot easily wade through anything but water. From afa…

My little zombie

There was a chill in the air. I stood at the bus stop, waiting, amongst a crowd of kids. I felt different, though my parents assured me I was no different. ‘Is it ok to dislike kids if you still are one?’ I often asked my mum. She'd laugh, and send me on my way. Everyone's breath was misting in the air before them. Like smoke billowing from a dragon's mouth. Everyone's breath, that is, except for mine. It made me feel self conscious, even though no one really noticed. They were all too busy playing games and catching up on the latest school gossip. I wished I had breath that billowed. I shuffle onto the bus and lurch my way onto a seat. Next to me sits one of the girls whose breath billowed. I envy her. She smiles at me, a small, shy thing. I do my best impression of a smile and hope that my jaw doesn't loosen. Some would say that's an irrational fear, but they probably never met my uncle Seamus. If they had, they might worry too. 'Hi,' it's a tentat…