It's been a year... in more ways than one

It's been a year since I last felt the urge to blog, and this year has been quite the year already. This month has felt like quite a year to be honest.

The term "unprecedented" is being used a lot where I work. These are indeed unprecedented times for us, but the world has recovered from this type of event before. And I personally hope that we learn so much about what our priorities are and what we want our new normal to look like after this period of unprecedented change.

My life already looks vastly different. Before Covid I was commuting for an hour each morning to get into the office. I begrudged my job, because I spent 13 hours of the day out of the house just to complete a 10 hour work day. Now my "commute" is thankfully 1 minute as I have been afforded the privilege of being able to work from home. And I do see it as such a privilege, with so many of my friends being furloughed, losing their jobs or bravely risking their safety and that of their families by continuing to go to work. Now I could not be more grateful for the job I have and the important part it plays in our society.

So now I find myself with all this extra time and surprisingly I have been using it on personal and professional development. A few short years ago I know I'd be up all night bingeing Netflix and not showering (because who would care?). Now my priorities feel so different. Mostly because, well, I have priorities now!

So far I have read a lot about leadership, communication, a whole bunch of advice on priorities and about healthy habits. My boyfriend today asked me why. He does this often and I don't think he does it with ill intent. I thought about it and, well, it just feels like the right thing to do.

I want to be the best version of myself I can be. To me that looks like learning how to garden so I can plant herbs, berries and vegetables that will be flourishing by summer or by next year, so that we'll be ready for a more calm and healthy future if this new normal continues or if this happens again. It looks like knitting scarfs, learning how to crochet, learning how to play the piano (I won't lie, so far all I've done is download the app, but I will get to it) - to keep myself busy in a productive way. It looks like painting the garage and learning how to repoint the house with my boyfriend, because all we do is put off the house improvements that need doing. Life only happens once, sitting around waiting for the circumstances to be right for you to get to living it might just mean you spend your whole life sitting around!

To me this time at home feels like a great opportunity to learn how to be more self sufficient. To strip back all the things we think we need and want, and really consider if they're a priority, if they're essential, if there is any way that with time we could do them better and how they might help others.

To me now it feels important to support small businesses, it feels important to only have things delivered if this is safe for us and them, it feels important to have hobbies to keep myself away from boredom and mental health issues, and it feels important to stay connected to people.

I suppose that in a big way my priorities are due to the changes that I made to my life two years+ ago now. It feels crazy to say it's been two years, because they've flown by and at the same time my life circumstances have changed so much in those two years. Two years ago now, as talked about in this blog, I joined a virtual bootcamp, signed up for at home workouts, a nutritional supplement I then knew nothing about, and agreed to read at least one personal development book a month.

Now, I had no idea what personal development looked like then, but I knew deep down that I was lacking in some kind of direction. So I jumped at the opportunity, contacting my now coach and asking her for help! Two years on she is still super supportive and helps in ways I can't ever fully put into words.

At first I thought it was just the workouts I needed. I was wrong. I'd been a gym goer in the past and as a past cheerleader group workouts were so much more my thing. Little did I know that technology had that covered too... with zoom workouts and virtual groups where I can see and talk to so many women just like me every day.

Now even when I'm "lazy" and don't work out for a while, I know I can jump right back in. And because of all the things I've learned it's so much easier to start back over again, because I'm not starting back up from where I was two years ago, because I now know how to do all the things that keep me happy and healthy.

In the past two years I've had a promotion at work, applied for and been considered for several important jobs I never would have dared apply for in the past, I moved in with my boyfriend and became a step mum, I've learned to be ok with all my emotions and started controlling my anxiety and panic attacks, I have learned new ways to communicate with my partner (not always successfully) and I have found confidence in myself that I never knew I could have.

Have I been perfect for the past two years? No. Nope. Not at all. Not one bit.
Have I progressed? Yes. So much. And I will continue to do so.

I guess my point in sharing all this is that although times are weird now, not all this change is bad. If you can, maybe use this time to learn something new. Support others however you can. Be kind and considerate in your choices. Ask for help if you are struggling (it really is true that no man is an island). Finish something, you'll feel much better! (I would know, I've successfully procrastinated from finishing a novel by finishing two scarves! See, I told you I wasn't perfect...)

I suppose I should now go and take heed of my own words and make the most of this time and finish that damn novel that my boyfriend keeps asking me if I even want to finish... I do! It's just that writing is hard... ok, that's a lie too... What's really hard is finishing something - because it's a change, because it opens new possibilities, because it's scary and exciting at the same time... because what if it's terrible.

Ok, my final real point of all of this, it's ok to be scared, it's ok to want things to be as they were, but it's also ok to want more, to grow, to change and evolve, to learn, to try and fail, to finish one thing (a novel) so that you can move on to another thing (querying that novel), because at the end of the day that is exactly what life is meant to be... it's an adventure, don't miss out because you were too scared to try and fail at something. I'm doing my best not to!