Weekend at work vs Ways I'd rather spend my time
‘The last thing you’ll see is a crow.’ The words echoed inside my otherwise empty mind, panic had stripped it from all other thoughts. The giant hammer fell in front of me again. I skipped out of the way, just in time. It was getting to be a closer call each time. I was getting too worn down. The horned beast’s bulky muscles rippled under his matted fur, his sweat looked like oil, dark and slick. My head spun as he heaved the hammer back into the air for another blow, without pause. I jumped, he missed, the air the hammer misplaced stung at the wounds down my face and neck.
‘Kill him Desmondos!’ someone in the crowd yelled. A roar of agreement rose like a hate wave. I’d almost forgotten they were there.
‘Squish his head!’ this was met with a less enthusiastic response, it was probably too mild in nature, it was yelled by a six year old girl though. This audience was blood thirsty.
Desmondos hollered, it was a guttural roar filled with bloody phlegm. I sighed and ran as fast as my shackled legs allowed. He charged. All I could think was that less than 12 hours earlier I had been in my car, on my way to work, cussing my bad luck at drawing the short straw for the weekend shift. Now I stood in a sandpit arena facing off against a Minotaur. Life, it throws some curve balls.
Desmondos yelled something that sounded like a threat and ran at me again. Still, maybe this was preferable to the office. The crowd roared again, and I noticed the old crone. Of course there was an old crone involved, when isn't there in this type of situation? She sent a cold chill down my spine. As I looked at her she winked. I guess it doesn't matter what dimension you’re in, a wink is a multiversal symbol. Desmondos swung the hammer, I ducked below it and rolled under him, between his strong stench covered legs. This threw him off balance.
I noticed he was falling backwards at the last second, and did the best forward role anyone has seen since fourth grade, it was messy, clumsy, the shackles got in the way, but I bet a bunch of kids would've clapped. The kids in the crowd booed, but they just wanted to see blood, so couldn't be blamed for their lack of cheer at the sight of my lucky escape. A loud gong clanged and the crowd rose to their feet, they looked outraged. From the sky fell a black winged beast the size of a horse on steroids.
The creature, on closer inspection that I’d wish I hadn't had the chance to experience, looked like a crow. Shit, I thought to myself, well, this is it. The crow fell onto Desmondos, and in a fast second he tore off the Minotaur’s head. It swallowed the head whole and flew off again. The crowd gave a round of applause that was almost overwhelmed by the sounds of their booing. I felt oddly relieved. The crone smiled a toothless grin at me. Well, she’d told me there’d be a crow.